I founded Trista the Genealogist after realizing the importance of keeping my own family history alive. After 15 years honing my research skills, my mission as a professional is to connect people to the stories and people who make them who they are. My own experience of discovering my family's past has made me passionate about guiding others on the same journey. In this post, I'll share the story of how I became Trista the Genealogist.
Growing Up "Other"
Life as a mixed-race child in 1970s California was a unique experience. Though at a young age, being biracial wasn't something I found difficult. It wasn't until later in life that the world made it clear I was "other." My parents divorced when I was very young, and I lived with my mother, who is of European descent, during the week, and visited my father, who is of African descent, on weekends. Starting in my early teens, people began to ask questions about my background, and honestly, I never knew how to answer them. I was asked questions like, "What's your nationality?" or "What are you mixed with?" My personal favorite had to be the straightforward "What are you?" But every time, my response felt insufficient. I'd just say, "Black and white," or “American?” but I knew that didn't really capture the whole picture of who I was. At the same time, I didn't have a clue who I was.
An Identity Crisis
As I got older, fitting into either the black or white community was challenging. I felt like I didn't quite belong in either “world,” but that struggle gave me a distinct view of both. Almost every mixed-race person can relate to feeling like they don't fully belong to either ethnicity. I felt like I wasn't "black enough" for the black community, and I surely wasn't white enough. Eventually, I stopped trying to fit in, but part of me still longed for acceptance. “I’m just Trista” became my prepared answer to questions about what it was like being biracial to avoid the topic.
The Decision to Explore My Family History
I decided to explore my family's history on a whim, starting with almost no info, not even my grandparents' names on my father’s side. It was a challenging but eye-opening journey. It wasn’t long before I was pulled in by the thrill of seeing my ancestors' names and sometimes their own handwriting on various historical documents, and I was hooked. Let me share some of the amazing discoveries and experiences I've had while researching my family history.
Learned that my grandparents' names were Alfred and Mary Celeste; they called her "Mamie," as recorded in the 1940 census. Sharing what I found with my father jogged his memory and helped him reveal more leads and details about our family history.
Discovered Revolutionary War veterans, Mayflower passengers, and pioneers of all kinds (whether they knew it or not).
Took a solo research trip to Louisiana to learn more about my ancestors. After exhausting all the research available online, I connected with a cousin through social media who put me in touch with his parents. They showed me where my ancestors lived and took me to the church cemetery where my paternal great-grandparents were buried. Seeing their names etched into the monument was an awe-inspiring and surreal experience.
Attended a bi-annual family reunion, which happened to occur the same week as my research trip. It was an unforgettable experience, and I've attended every reunion since. I have gained more cousins than I can count, and I love it.
Connected with an 88-year-old relative who still lived in the tiny town where my ancestors lived. Her mother was my grandfather's sister.
Through that relative, I learned that my great-great-grandfather had been the grandson of the owner of a local plantation bearing our family name. I had always suspected a connection to that family, and now I had verbal confirmation and a name! Beyond that, I can now accurately explain my DNA matches to descendants of that plantation owner. It was a bittersweet revelation, but like all history, it happened, so it's important that we know. Knowledge is power, right?
Through my research, I've uncovered tales of triumph and tragedy, heroes and villains, and everything in between. What's been particularly meaningful to me are the stories of everyday ancestors who lived through difficult circumstances to pave the way for me. Most of our ancestors were not famous generals but rather ordinary foot soldiers who accomplished extraordinary things. Their stories are just as valuable and often more interesting than those of famous historical figures.
Embracing Uncomfortable Truths
As mentioned, exploring my family's past as a biracial woman stirred up some internal conflicts. Knowing that some ancestors might have had racist views made me worry about betraying a part of my identity by either celebrating my discoveries or being angered by them. Now, as a professional, I see my role as digging into family stories, acknowledging both the good and not-so-great parts. Every life, with its mix of good and bad, is important to remember. Understanding these diverse stories teaches us valuable lessons for our collective growth. Embracing the uncomfortable truths in our history isn't betrayal; it's a chance to understand and contribute to a more nuanced view of our shared past.
Bringing Family Together
Discussing all this newfound information with my family members has been a great bonding experience. I was able to introduce my father and my maternal grandfather to family members they didn't know existed and shared new information about their families that they were not aware of. Although they’ve both passed away since, I know that they were thrilled about the research I was doing and the idea that at least some of our heritage would be preserved for future generations.
Finding Belonging and Empowerment
It wasn't until I hit my 30s, deep into motherhood and a year into exploring my family's history, that I had this powerful realization:
I belonged.
Period. No acceptance, no qualification was necessary—I just belonged. That feeling of empowerment was like nothing else.
These are just a few of the profound experiences that led me to found Trista the Genealogist. I only regret not recognizing the worth of knowing my family history earlier.
A Missed Opportunity to Know Even More About My History
Thinking about the times I missed with my maternal great-grandparents made me see how crucial it is to preserve family history. I had two of them in my life well into my 20s and 30s, and it never occurred to me to sit down with them and ask about their lives. After my Nana passed away, I got an amazing gift—a recorded interview with her from a decade before she passed at 96. Seeing her lively and sassy, wearing her red dress with white polka-dots and red lipstick, was comforting. We also found a box of old photos when we were packing up her things, and it hit me how quickly one generation can become a mystery to the next. It only takes a couple of generations for our descendants to find our photo in a box and not have a clue who we were or how our lives affected theirs.
While historical documents and genealogical research can help us piece together the basic details of our ancestors' lives, nothing can replace the first-hand knowledge that comes from sitting down with our elders and letting them tell us about their lives. Keeping our family's oral histories together with family history research can help create an even more accurate and meaningful account of our ancestors' lives.
But as I discovered, the clock is ticking.
Keep your family’s stories alive. Contact me at hello@tristathegenealogist.com or through the contact page on my website, and together, we can ensure that your legacy lives on for generations to come. Don't wait until it's too late.
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